Sometimes
I find a fort in my body
My soul struggling to stretch
My fingers spread wide
Searching
Discovering
What the world is made of
Recoiling from reality
Learning from my falls
I slowly put up walls
Brick by brick
I cross my legs
Fold my arms
Close my eyes.
Sometimes
I find a heaven in myself
An easy smile
My hair happy and free
Laughter loosens my reins
Pleasure courses through my veins
Arches my back
I become colourful; a crimson glow
I could drink up starlight.
Sometimes
I find a hell in myself
A dull ache in my heart
My eyes sting
A tear slips out
My body curls up
Like a withered leaf
Afraid to lose anymore
Afraid to dehydrate
I soak up the pain
A little less sane
I find the agony releasing me
Slowly
Sometimes
I find a comfort in myself
My body becomes a haven
For my stray soul
Where I am not compared,
Judged, labelled, objectified,
threatened, misunderstood, used,
quietened, questioned, regretted,
exposed, hidden or told
The sound of my breathing
Keeps me company
And I listen to myself
Over all the voices.
My body is my habitat.