Today is the day,
Where some numbers on a paper
Would pave my way,
Or turn my dreams to vapour.
I am sitting on the bench,
Waiting for the moment
Not had my lunch.
Quietly, nervousness I vent.
I want to close my eyes
Longing for oblivion of sleep.
My eyes, red and dry from cries,
Heavy from sleepless nights, still peep.
The notice isn’t there yet.
I want to clench my fist
To calm my frantic heart.
As I wait for the list
To block or pave my start.
I want to open my fingers
To release impatience, somehow,
But the ghost of my failure still lingers,
Reminding me of my unfulfilled vow.
To set up an earning business
Or study hard and become educated
And remove them out of this mess,
Which circumstances created.
The notice isn’t there yet.
I want to jump around
To escape this agonizing wait
I want to sit down
And think ahead of my fate.
I want to scream
I want to sigh
I want to dream
I want to die.
But I sit still
My toes curling here.
Bothered by my patient will.
That isn’t there.
The notice is here now.